THE MAN WHO CHASED A LORRY

Jimmy Spit chased a lorry because it swore at him.
the lorry which had two protruding eyes drove itself on end and carried headless soldiers.


In the end a five - headed policeman got hold of Jimmy Spit for frightening the lorry.
he got sent to a dog's prison on the Isle of Boy.
He had to serve a million year sentence.


The prison where Jimmy Spit stayed had floorless cells.


The prison warder, a dustbin on legs was very strict, and ordered the prisoner to bite the brick wall.


Another form of discipline was, 'that prisoners had to break rocks with their bare hands.
Any prisoner failing to do so would be made to eat cement.


Another rule was, that it was forbidden to smoke earth.
Any prisoner caught smoking earth would have his mouth stuffed with pillorboxes.




One day a prisoner called Dirty Soap put a cigarette lighter into a prison warder's ear. The prison warder, George Tin 'O' Paint caught him and caned him with a fish. Dirty Soap was then sent to Grisly Remand Centre in Crashire.
At this prison every prisoner had to do press ups on a floor saturated with super glue.
After he did press - ups the prisoner was put into a bath full of bees.
This was to make sure that he did what he was told. After that he had a shave on the dining room table whilst he was eating in front of other prisoners.
Soon after he had a shave Dirty Soap bashed a loaf of bread that danced on the dining room table.
The bread, terrified out of its life, ran out of the dining room  and met a lump of sugar that got punched and kicked by a prison warder.


"I got beaten up by Dirty Soap said the loaf of bread"
"We'll sort him out said the lump of sugar."


So, both of the inmates searched for Dirty Soap, and when they found him they bashed him on the chops.
Next, there were pitched battles being fought in the dining room.


Potatoes fought eggs, chairs kicked prison officers, lamp shades drank milk and prisoners took off their heads.


One day whilst a man was eating his dinner the dinner plate jumped up and threw itself into the man's face.
The prison warder, Mr 1-2-3 nabbed the mad dinner plate and booted it up to the sun.


Soon afterwards a knife grew on he sun, causing it to fly.


The sun flew away to a school where fish were taught how to play football.


every football had gravy inside it to make it strong.