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Tuesday, April 12, 2011

WHEN THE ALARM WENT OFF IN MY FLAT







One day in my flat Goodmayes Lodge someone was cooking toast and the alarm went off, so loud, that it could be heard as far away as America. In fact the din was so loud that nearby buildings collapsed all because of George Dumplings, one of the lodge residents. Because of the collapse of houses outside people had to be rehoused - in other peoples’ cars. People returning to their vehicles saw what happened, opened up the doors and chucked the people out. But where would they go now.
The answer:
“On the moon”.

Moon transport buses came down from the sky and whisked the homeless up to the moon.

All of a sudden the collapsed buildings re- assembled themselves and the people made homeless by the collapse returned to their houses. It was a man called Henry Opener who reversed the damage when he shouted:
“Houses, Come back to life, and they did”.
The manager congratulated the magical man in finding a way to put collapsed buildings back together again.

The lodge’s alarm system was so destructive that it could cause the whole of London to collapse and die and, ‘who was to blame for this mad alarm system?
The answer:
Peter Doughnut, the mad scientist. He was a real madman who was born in a telephone box in Green Sausage Lane, Ilford. He had spent 600 times in a mental hospital.
Once, Peter Doughnut squirted gravy into a radio set, for this he got sent to Dog Bowl Hospital. On one occasion he shoved a dinner plate down another patient’s throat. The nurse arrived on the scene and put him into a bare room for two hours.

The Goodmayes Lodge staff were told about the mad scientist and were relieved when he got put away.
The faulty alarm system got replaced in the end.

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