THE REDBRIDGE NEWS

1. It has been announced that charges for refuse collection are to be 

     introduced on the Thames estate in which each resident will have to pay

    £45 per week just to empty rubbish. Not only that, there will also be a 

    charge just to go into the lounge.

    Even returning home won't be free anymore.

    On entering your flat you will be charged £10, just to return home. If  

    you don't pay you will be refused entry into your flat, even the support 

    home itself and spend the night in the street.

    other charges will be, 'raising the lunch money for fish and chips to £34.

    even to use the toilet won't be free for you will be charged £5.00   

    everytime you use the loo, even in your own flat.

    If you have to go to toilet at night the intercom will be activated telling 

    you you must pay. This will bring the sleep in staff running into your flat, 

     opening it with a master key.

    If you can't pay you just will have to hold it up, with the risk that you    

    could have inevitable accidents in bed, and who is to blame?

    It's you of cause, because you didn't pay just to use your own toilet.

    Even to go into the kitchen to cook your own meal won't be free for   

    everytime you walk into the kitchen of your flat you will be charged  

    £2.00.

2. Rents in support homes and other flats will be going up to £2000 per  

    week. This was announced by Kevin Shark, a Redbridge counselor. The  

    new rents will be arriving on April 1st. People who cannot afford this  

    have no other option than to find somewhere else to live. If they can't  

    they will have to end up sleeping in the park. by doing this they will have 

    their benefits stopped and may have to eat grass since they'll have no 

    money for food, and if there's no grass then they'll have to eat earth.

3. Dog owners have been warned about a man - eating dog which they  

     probably  own but are not aware of this, not until the dog develop's a 

     taste for human flesh.

     The dog is a Carnivorian Terrier, Carnivorian meaning carnivore. 

     It goes suddenly mad, attack's it's owner and devours him.

4. A new day centre for dirty people is to open up in Redbridge.

     in this day centre the unwashed will have free access to all services in  

     this centre.

     Even the centre  is to remain dirty, with manure spread all over the  

     floor.