PAMPER NEWS

                                         
One day at Goodnight Day Centre a pampering session took place. The first person who got sellected chose to have his head taken off so the pamper woman would give it a bath.
First of all she filled up the bath tub with wash lotion then put the head into the bath tub.
The head was thoroughly washed then re - attached to its owner's body. The next job was to take the lungs and heart out of the man's body and put them into the washing machine. Whilst this was going on the man had to be plugged into the mains in order to keep him alive otherwise if he died the pamper woman wouldn't want anything to do with him.
the body organs, hearts and lungs were thoroughly washed, by adding a solution of tomato sauce and coca cola soap.
After one hour the heart and lungs were put back into the man's body. The woman even hoovered his chest.
Customer number 2 and 3 were  women called Lyn Mouth and Lyn Ton. They were massaged with a vacuum cleaner all over their backs and salad cream rubbed into their faces. They then offered to have their toenails cut. This was done with a bread knife. The next session was to have steak and kidney pies stuck on their eyes.