THE INCIDENT IN DORMITORY TWO AT RAMSDEN HALLSCHOOL

One morning Fred Foppy, a boy in Dormitory two heard the bell ring at 7.00am because it was time to get up but he refused.  
Ten minutes later, at 7.10am Mr. Big, the teacher burst in and yanked Fred Foppy out of bed.




"Hoy! shouted Fred Foppy to the teacher, you have no right to pull me out of bed."




"Look 'ere Fred Foppy, said the teacher,
"do as you're told my boy."




The furious teacher turned Fred Foppy upside down and whacked him.




"Now Master Foppy, I'm going to take you to the headmaster's office for defying the rule that you have to get up when the bell rings at 7.00am."




Still in his pyjamas Fred Foppy was marched  down to the headmaster's office and given six strokes of the cane.




"I never did anything, shouted Fred Foppy.
"Oh, shut up shouted Mr.Glue, the headmaster."




Soon afterwards Fred Foppy was pulled by the ear and marched upstairs where he got slung into a boiling hot shower.




Soon afterwards two of the school bullies, Smasher Tubbs and Billy Chairlegs burst into the shower room and threw Fred Foppy across the room, causing him to land headfirst onto the ceiling.




"Now Fred Foppy 'Bighead', do what the teacher tells you, if you don't you will get sent to Schoolstall."
"Let me go shouted Fred Foppy".
"Oh, lose your head shouted the two bullies."




Next, a teacher with no head came in and emptied a load of fish into Fred Foppy's head.
With fish swimming inside his head he was now able to do what he was told.
If he threw his head away he would have been roasted.




Soon after he got showered and bullied Fred Foppy went down to Breakfast and had bacon and eggs with pins stuck inside them.
Every time he gorged the pins would run run up his face and attack his head.




After he got bullied by the breakfast pins Freddy Foppy went  mad and ran all over the dining room tables, putting his foot into everybody's breakfast.
The school leopard caught him and bit his trousers.
It then dragged him upstairs and threw him into the punishment room.
Once in the punishment room Fred Foppy was told to kiss the floor. If he refused he would be roasted on the fireplace or told to write a million lines.




Soon after he got punished Fred Foppy ( he had to remove his head) got nabbed by the school bully Terry Flashman.
The big bully footballed Fred Foppy downstairs and threw him into the gymnasium, the ideal place for a school bully to beat up a boy, especially a new boy whose week was up.
That meant that he had been at school for a week.




In the gymnasium the big bully Terry Flashman pinned Fred Foppy up against the wall and threw a car at him.




"Help! shouted Fred Foppy, get me out of  ere.
"If you don't stop your gob up Foppy face I'll stuff a brick down your throat."




So the big bully kept on bullying Fred Foppy until his head dropped off.
The bully then made off with Fred Foppy's  head and threw it into the dustbin, but,' all of a sudden the dustbin lid flew off and the head jumped out.
Terry Flashman saw the boy's head and chased after it as it flew around the courtyard, but the head belonging to Fred foppy was too quick for the bully to catch, and in an instant flew back onto Fred Foppy's body.




Suddenly, the school teacher, Mr Imbert appeared and caught Fred foppy by the scruff of his neck and said:
"Now Master Foppy, you're late for lessons so you will come with me to the headmaster's office."




Fred Foppy got caned with a snake.




"Now Fred Foppy, if you're late once more i'll send you to schoolstall."




One day Fred Foppy pushed a tree into the swimming pool.
The headmster caught him and chained him up.
He then hired five bullies to do him in.
the bullies took off his arms, legs and head and threw them into a fish pond.
But Fred Foppy wasn't headarmlegless for long, for he grew a new body.
In fact, Fred Foppy  developed two heads, making him the first two - headed  boy in Ramsden Hall.
The boys, however didn't want a two - headed boy in their territory so they got hold of Fred Foppy and put him into a vice in the woodwork room.
This was to  be - two - head him.
In the end Fred Foppy got be - two - headed.




Now that Fred foppy had no head he had to think with his chest.