THE CROOKERIES

Once upon a time there existed a district in London called The Crookeries. This was an area where crooks lived. It was a rough area where no one dared venture through for fear of ending up dead.
The crooks had their own clubs, schools, factories and hospitals.
The famous gangsters, the Umbrella Men, had their hideout in The Crookeries. They robbed people by flying overhead on jet propelled umbrellas and swooping down on them.
This frightened city was a no go area for ordinary people.
Today, The Crookeries, is no more. A new housing estate now occupy's the site, and the crooked inhabitants are now locked away in a crook's prison, "Woodworm Scrubs". This prison has cells only four feet wide and the prisoners sleep standing up. Sometimes one man has to use another man as a bed to sleep on.
In Woodworm Scrubs prison the warders have special ways of dealing with men who refuse to leave the room for exercise such as throwing stink bombs into their cells. The pong force's the men to run out.
The prison toilets have no bowls. You have to use the toilet floor and later in the day men arrive with vacuum cleaners to clear the mess away.
There have been cases in this prison of televisons being used as toilets and pot scourers used as toilet paper, this has given this prison the nickname" Pongworm Scrubs".