Once upon a time whilst a man was vacuum cleaning his flat the machine just went for him, chased him round the room and sucked him up into itself. The man, Bernard Dogfish, tried to free himself but it just wouldn’t let him out. To the vacuum cleaner the man was just another piece of rubbish. Eventually the carer, a man with two heads, walked in and cut open the vacuum cleaner to free the man, but, just as he did the mad vacuum cleaner attacked the carer and killed him 200 times.
In the block of flats, Gasbag Lodge, a warning was sent out to people not to use vacuum cleaners for they could become dangerous animals unexpectedly and could even kill. They could even eat people.
Man – eating vacuum cleaners aren’t unknown, in fact they’re so common that it has been decided that it’s safer to clean the carpet with a loaf of bread than to resort to a vacuum cleaner because they are one of the most dangerous animals that anyone can ever use to clean a carpet with. Once there was a case when a vacuum cleaner chased terrified residents round in gasbag lodge and did indeed gobble up five of them. Police arrived with guns and shot the vacuum cleaner dead.
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