Once upon a time, a man went up to space in a bathtub to land on the planet Chopmeat. This planet had a race of men who had pumpkin heads, pumpkins as heads. They were called the Smorkriard, and had legs that spurted liquid jelly all the time. They used this to ward off enemies such as giant rats 200 foot long.
The craters on the Planet Chopmeat were 20 miles deep and led into a pit full of deadly flesh eating monsters with 340 heads and teeth as big as elephants.
The temperature on Chopmeat was 1.340 degrees, which could turn humans into fried meat within seconds.Only spaceships fitted with meat joints on the outside could land on this deadly planet.
On Earth, 50 million miles away there was a warning that deadly chunks could break off from the edges of the deadly planet and crash into Earth. These chunks could fry the sea dry, and turn people into steaks and scorch the world. The only answer was to move Earth to another corner of the universe. Special space ‘lorries would load Earth onto their backs and move 34,000,000 million miles away to safety.
The planet Chopmeat wasn’t the only threat to Earth. Huge space monsters that fly around the universe could rip their teeth through Earth slicing it into two. So the only answer was to spray the universe with a fly killer to protect Earth from deadly monsters lurking about in outer space.
There were other planets, such as, Dirtia and Scorbozz. These planets were only two miles wide and were square, which meant that if you walked too near the edge you could fall off into outer space and end up as a meal in a space serpent’s mouth.
Square planets pose a risk especially if you walk too near the edge. Many a man, woman and child has fallen off the edge of the planet.

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