THE MAN WHO WENT ON HOLIDAY

On July 88th 1989 a man left his house to go on holiday. 

The house knew all about it for when the man started to board his taxi it started to cry, tears streaming from its windows.

“A house crying said the neighbours, ‘I can’t believe my very eyes.”

As soon as the taxi left the street the house started to move and charge down the street, and as soon as it reached Gants Hill the house caught up with the man and tried to stalk the taxi. The driver got out and saw a house trying to get at its owner. He tried to fight it off but the house fought back, the driver then got back into the taxi and managed to break away and the man got safely to the coach stop, unaware that the house was following him -  in fact it was going along the road.

A house going along the road caught the attention of every motorist.

The holidaymaker, Sid Muesli, got into the coach and it sped off.

The house tried to dive onto the coach to nab its owner but was stopped in its tracks when the coach darted off at great speed to dodge the mad building that was stalking it, but that didn’t work for all of the journey the house was following the coach, even on the motorway to win back its owner.

The coach stopped at Smacket Lane Service Station, and:

“As soon as the man made a beeline for the main service station to get to the restaurant the house tried to grab him but he managed to rush into the building. The house even started to climb into the window and managed to get in causing everybody to flee the building.

The crazy building literally bulldozed the service station to the ground.

The sight of a private house razing the service station to the ground just to get at its owner even took police by surprise.

“I can’t believe that a house could murder a service station said Pc Chicken, all because its owner was going on holiday.”

The holidaymaker managed to get into the coach in the nick of time as the house was trying to win him back.

Eventually the man arrived at Butterlins Clements Bay Holiday village, but as soon as he got off the coach the house swooped down and grabbed its owner and flew away back to where it came from – Gants Hill.

“You, you upset me said the house, how could you leave me, I don’t want you to go on holiday, because you’re mine said the house.