THE MAN WHO HAD DELUSIONS IN HOSPITAL

An elderly man got admitted after a fall. The result was, ‘disorientation.
The delusions included, ‘that the hospital was the patient’s own house and that he wasn’t ill when he was. He was a danger to himself and others and thought that the staff had invaded his house. He said:
“Shut that door! Shut that door!”
All of a sudden he tried to wreck his own bed and locker and the staff had to be called in.


“Get your hands off me yelled the man to the staff, you’re intruders in my house.
“No we’re not, we’re nurses and we’re here to make you better, so keep calm, you’re safe here.”
I’m putting my clothes on to go out said the patient.
“No you don’t, stay where you are, any move and you could fall. You’ve had and accident so don’t get out of bed, if you do you could injure yourself for no staying put and,’ remember, this is a hospital not a house.”


Right now, said one of the staff I’m putting up a side rail on the side of your bed so that you shouldn’t fall out and injure yourself.”


Just as a member of staff going to the disorientated patient bit her on the arm and pushed over another member of staff.


One of the patients in the ward said, ‘that man’s insane, he should be in a mental hospital, not here.
Look what you’ve done said the other patient, you’ve bit a member of the hospital staff on the arm and pushed over another, and a member of staff said:
“You dare attack us once more and you’ll end up in a side ward.
“Lay off, you’re intruders in my house.
“Look here Mate we’re nurses, not intruders.
What you’re having are delusions because of the accident.
“You’re disturbing the other patients they can’t get to sleep all because of you.”


The Staff were right the man was disturbing the other patients.


“Now, said the nurses, we’re going to take your blood pressure.”
They did and, ‘what a commotion he raised.


“We’re fetching the doctor, he’ll put you right and control your delusions because, whilst you’re deluded you’re a danger.”
The doctor came and gave the man a sedative injection.


“You’re sticking a knife in me.
This injection is to help you control your delusions not a knife said the doctor.


The deluded patient was given the sedative injection and that did the trick, but not for long for he became violent  again, this time having a fight with his bed clothes, that is, ‘savagely picking at them and trying to pull them off.


“Keep still you, said one of the staff.”


Just as the staff tried to control the man he bit a hole in the pillow and tried to eat it.


“Stop it at once and take that pillow out of your mouth. If you swallow that pillow you’ll get a blockage in your digestive system which would require emergency surgery.”


The staff wrenched the pillow from the man’s hand.


“Get back into bed, you’ll fall over and hurt yourself if you don’t.”


“Get that locker away from me it’s trying to pull me out of bed.”
“You’re dreaming, that locker isn’t a live animal it can’t move on its own accord.”


The man’s deranged mind had to be dealt with for once and for all because he was a danger to himself and other patients, and nurses. In fact two patients in the ward screamed terror fearing that the man would attack them.


“We’re going to shift this man to a one bed side ward said the staff, there’s no other way we can control him and we’ll have a word with the surgeon to see what he can do. We will also send for a psychiatrist who will find a way to treat this patient.
If there’s a brain tumour causing his derangement it will have to be removed.”


The psychiatrist came and examined the patient.


“We will carry out tests to see what we can o for him said the psychiatrist.
The patient did of cause have a nasty fall but I don’t think that could have caused it. The fall may have triggered off a brain lesion that lay dormant for years.”
The patient concerned wasn’t aware of it and even without a fall like that he could have developed this mental illness, so me, the psychiatrist will have a word with the surgeon.”
The psychiatrist did.
The surgeon came and said, ‘I’m going to carry out an exploratory operation in order to find out what caused his mental derangement, because it’s organic in origin.


Later that day the disorientated man got taken to the operating theatre.
There, by he side of the trolley in which the patient was lying on stood the anaesthetist, surgical registrar, the theatre nurse and the psychiatrist as well as a number of helpers.


“We’re going to carry out an exploratory brain operation to find what caused this man to become violent. This patient did of course have a nasty fall, which can cause brain damage but can only cause insanity in someone with an existing brain lesion such as a brain tumour or a tying together of nerves, where each nerve is tied in a knot to another nerve.
Furthermore, this patient who we, re going to operate on may have an existing dementia.”


The anaesthetist gave the patient an anaesthetic injection an in a jiffy he was out. The anaesthetist then fixed the I.V drip to the patient’s arm. Next, the theatre door swung open and the patient got lifted up onto the operating table. Soon the surgeon made an incision and pulled back the inner tissues then took out a piece of skull to expose the patient’s brain. What he saw made him see red for the nerves were tied in knots and various little tumours as well as a hole in the side of his brain.
In an extremely complicated operation lasting approximately 20 hours the whole mass was removed, and the hole in the side of the man’s brain was sewn up.
Following surgery the previously deranged man was sent to an intensive care unit attached to various tubes, monitors and machinery. He was in a coma and didn’t regain consciousness until five weeks later.
Although the operation was a success, the elderly man’s faculties got wiped out and he ended up and became a human cabbage for the rest of his life.
The man died two years later and got sent to a human museum. At this museum were a number of exhibits including a 12th century schoolboy and a school bully dating from 1727.[/b]