Once upon a time there lived a man who was fed up with his flat so he grabbed it by the hand, took it to a gent’s toilet and flushed it down the pan. The flat fell into the drains and drowned. The man was charged with the murder of his own home. He got sent to Woodworm Scrubs Prison in Shepherds Bash.
Whilst in prison the man tried to flush his cell down the toilet but was stopped by a prison warder who then locked him in a suitcase as a punishment for cruelty to his prison cell.
The only food the prisoner was allowed was mouldy bread and filthy water.
The governor of Woodworm Scrubs Prison was Sidney Boots. He was a bully who often made prisoners eat their own shoes and duck their heads down the loo. Also he made sure that they slept on top of other men, no beds allowed, only human beds – human beings used as beds.
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