JOHN SHIRT'S SCHOOLDAYS

                                      
John Shirt arrived at Ramsview School at 2.55pm on September 9th 1963. 
He got out of the taxi and walked into the entrance hall.
 At the far end of the entrance hall stood the blackboards showing what dormitories the boys would be in.


Here are a list of the dormitories.


Dormitory no.1


1. John Paper
2. John Eel
3. Simon Bus


Dormitory no.2


1. Piano Ink
2. George Imbert
3. David Fearnley
4. Alan Machine
5. Terry table
6. William Minor
7. Sergeant Major


Dormitory no.3


1. Peasie Phonebox
2. Henry Cup ' O'  Tea
3. Harold Mince


Dormitory no.4


1. Head Master
2. Chair Legs
3. Clive Contract
4. Jimmy work
5. Ooyah bed


Dormitory no.5


1. Bully Boots
2. Fruit Bread


Dormitory no.6


1. Terry Bigfoot
2. Johnny School




These six are a few of the dormitories In Ramsview school.


There are a total of 35 dormitories.


John Shirt was to be in dormitory no.8.
When he got into the headmaster's office he was told that he would remain at this boarding  until he reached the age of 16.
The headmaster signed him in soon after the boy's parents signed a form stating that he would reside at this school until he reached the age of 16.
Soon afterwards the new boy left the headmaster's office made his way to the dining room for tea.
It was a high tea for it included a meal.
The meal he had was a roast wallet and grilled finger nails, together with grass and wood.
After tea the new boy flew out into the playground.


All of a sudden a tree pounced on John Shirt and tossed him up into the air.
John Shirt let out  and icy scream.
The icy yell brought Mr. Weekend Leave, the headmaster out.


"Hey you!
stop your yelling or I'll stuff a lamp post down your throat.
"It was that tree, Headmaster, shouted John Shirt.
"If yo say that once more I'll send you to bed in the dog's kennel.
"But Sir, I got beaten up by a tree.
"Don't argue John Shirt, if you do I'll knock you to another country where you will be made a slave, digging the sea."


So John Shirt obeyed the headmaster's orders and walked into the school.


At 6.00pm the new boy went into the school to unpack his clothes, when all of a sudden a pair of pyjamas jumped out of the suitcase and attacked the school the school matron.
She caught such a fright that she flew out of the window and jumped onto a tree.
Meanwhile, angry boys were trying to get at the pyjamas that chucked the school matron out of the window.


All of a sudden a suitcase burst open and all of the clothes inside cried.
The hullabaloo was heard by Mr.Empty, the bald - headed teacher who wore giant spectacles.
He caught such a fright when he saw the clothes dancing about and crying.


"I suppose you did this said the teacher.
I saw the school matron frightened out of her life hiding up a tree.
"Now come with me to the head's office, you lot will get a whacking."
The boys got whacked 7 times.


"That's for frightening the school matron out of her wits.
You caused her to jump out of the window and fly up a tree."


Soon after the boys got thrashed they got sent to bed.


"That new boys started it, so,
'let's beat him up"


The new boy got beaten up good and proper.
Soon after he got beaten up he lost his head then got sent to bed, and what a bed it was, for it had no mattress, just  a cardboard box to sleep on.


For supper the new boy had a laughing chicken and peas as big as footballs.
Next morning the new boy got up at 7.00am and made his way down to the washroom to have a wash.
His toilet articles consisted of towel,soap, flannel and broom.
He washed his face, neck, breadbasket and hair, then flew down to breakfast, eating his food on the floor.
Mr. Shorthair was on duty to make sure that no boy was late.
If he was late down for breakfast the boy would get scalped by the teacher who was on duty.
After breakfast the boys flew up to their dormitories to make their beds.
One boy put his bed into his locker. The teacher, Mr. Shorthair,  caught him and threw him out of the window.
John shirt laughed  at the teacher when he saw Sydney Beer being chucked out of the window.
The teacher said to the new boy,
"If you laugh once more I'll lock you up in the school prison.


When lessons came  the boys went into  their classes.


In one class there was a 20 foot tall teacher who was very very strict.
Every boy was forced to swim in dirty water.
When the time came to play football every boy was ordered by the teacher to run 500 mile an hour.
Not only that, there was worse, for the football had spikes sticking out of it, and the football pitch was a swamp.


John Shirt remained at  Ramsview  School for 3 years